Accident Prone
by sapereaude13
Summary: Ashe had to admit that Balthier had a small point. As soon as the sun rose in the sky each day on their journey, it appeared that the heavens gave Balthier the curse of Ashelia. She seemed to be a bad luck charm for the sky pirate. BalthierAshe. Fluff.


Though she'd felt the sunlight kissing her skin for some moments now, Ashe did not want to yet acknowledge that morning had arrived. The humming engines of the pirate's airship had soothed her to sleep, but they were silenced now, and she knew they had reached their destination. The whirlwind events of the night before flooded her mind then. She'd asked a sky pirate to kidnap her. Who knew how the Marquis and his retinue were reacting? Were they already sending search parties after them?

She finally opened her eyes and sighed. The girl, Penelo, rested on the floor beside her bunk, having insisted that Ashe was royalty and somehow more deserving of a comfortable rest. The Viera was nowhere in sight despite it being her cabin. The Princess sat up and nearly knocked her head on the bulkhead over her. The Strahl was not a hotel, her owner had remarked the night before. It was a ship that could carry their numbers, but not for an extended stay. There were only cabins for her two crew members. She picked up her small toiletry bag and decided to make herself presentable.

Ashe did her best to step around the sleeping girl and avoided Fran's scattered furnishings on her way to the cabin door. Moving into the narrow corridor, she could already look ahead to see Basch and Vaan conversing in the cockpit. She'd avoided speaking with the pirate after her blundering efforts in the Bhujerba aerodrome the night before, and it irritated her to realize that the sole washroom on board would take her past his cabin door. His door was closed, and she wondered if he was even going to bother waking up at a decent hour for their journey to the sandsea. The washroom was irritatingly small, and she would not be able to wash her face or bathe in any measure of comfort. She wondered how the tall Viera even fit into the tiny shower in the room.

She twisted the washroom doorknob grumpily and rubbed her eyes to clear the remnants of sleep away. In her haste to shove her way into the room, she hadn't even thought to check if it was occupied.

"Son of a…" Balthier cried out in surprise as she bumped right into him, and she could already see him rushing for a rag. Looking up at the pirate, she saw his face was covered in shave cream. The white cream was now being smeared with pink.

"Oh Balthier, I'm sorry. I didn't…"

He tossed his straight razor into the sink angrily and lifted the rag against his bleeding face. "Don't you knock? I could have killed myself!" She could do nothing more than shrink back against the washroom door and watch him glare at her. He was only clad in his trousers, and she did her best to look away. She wanted to be as far away from this room as possible, but he suddenly reached around her and threw the lock on the door.

"What are you doing? I apologized!" Could the others hear? Would anyone care that an angry pirate had trapped her in his bathroom?

Balthier pulled the rag away and showed her the offensive red stain that now marred its appearance and then tossed it onto the floor behind them. "The Strahl is not your personal transport, Princess. I'd appreciate a bit more respect." He examined his face in the mirror and saw that he'd only nicked himself slightly at her clumsiness. She watched him pick the razor back up and return to his shaving. "In other words, you will knock and wait for an answer before you enter like any civilized person."

She'd apologized! Her mind had been elsewhere when she entered the room. She barely knew this man, and he barely knew her. He was treating her like a child. "Don't speak to me like that."

He smirked in the mirror knowing that she could see. "Then don't give me reason to."

She moved to undo the lock on the door, but it seemed to have some trick to opening it. "Will you let me leave?"

He scraped the razor across his cheek with measured precision. "No."

"Balthier…"

"Princess, there's room enough for one more at the sink."

She scowled at him. The sink was currently full of warm water to rinse off his razor and small lumps of shave cream bobbed on the surface. "I'm not washing my face with that water."

He plunged the razor into the water and washed off a bit of the cream. "Then you'll just have to wait until I'm finished."

Ashe tried to fiddle with the lock once more. "I can wait in the corridor just as easily."

She watched him bring the razor back to his face, although Ashe couldn't see one offending bit of stubble left. "Couldn't wait to get in here."

"Balthier, are you always this unpleasant in the morning?"

He rinsed the razor off once more and pulled the plug in the sink. "I'm being unpleasant? You almost made me slit my own throat." She clutched her toiletry bag against her chest and frowned while he took his sweet time opening a bottle of aftershave. Though it wasn't an offensive smell (in fact, it was rather nice), the scent was nearly overpowering in the tight enclosure of the washroom. He was still very much unclothed from the waist up, and though she was no innocent lamb, she felt guilty for even glancing briefly at his toned arms and the reflection of his tanned chest in the mirror. In the short time she'd known him he'd always been completely covered.

Balthier leaned his arm behind her back once more, his fingers brushing against her skin almost imperceptibly as he easily unlocked the door. It seemed to be the man's new purpose in life to cause her grief since they'd met. He was entirely inappropriate. She stayed completely rigid as he moved around her to exit the room.

"Don't take all day. Sandsea's waiting, Princess."

She would have slammed the door in his face if he hadn't jumped back so quickly. Once she got the Dawn Shard, she could quit the presence of this frustrating pirate and his tiny washroom.

-----

Sleep in Golmore was near impossible. Although she was used to the heat of Dalmasca, it was a dry heat. The jungle of the Viera, on the other hand, was humid and sticky and lying in the tent was like sitting in some steam room. Though the canopy of trees would not betray the true hour, she knew it had to be morning. It wasn't much better once she stepped out, but the ground was cooler beneath her feet, and it was all the relief they were like to have for the rest of that day. She knew the snows of Paramina awaited them, and the thought was sustaining her through the hot jungle.

In her haste to find a stream to wash her face, she tripped over what she thought was one of the group's packs but was startled to hear the pack curse loudly as she landed on the large lump with a hard thud.

"What is with you, woman?" the voice wheezed.

She'd fallen over Balthier, who now had the pleasure of having her sprawled heavily across him. Although she was temporarily stunned, she soon realized the compromising position she'd now landed herself in. She'd managed to trip at his feet, and she was now lying only inches from his face. And why did that make her feel so strange? If she'd tripped over Basch or Vaan, would her face be as hot as it now felt?

"Why are you…" she shifted slightly to move off of him, but the damage had already been done. He was sitting up in an angry huff, wincing in pain. "Why are you sleeping out here?"

His usually perfectly arranged hair was sticking up at a bunch of different angles, and if she was one to use such descriptors, "cute" would be the best way to describe the pirate's current hair situation. She couldn't actually remember a time on their entire journey where she'd woken before him. Balthier was always put-together impeccably before she even rose from her tent every morning. "I'm sleeping out here because it's bleeding hot in that tent. I immediately regret that decision now."

She sat up across from him and watched him grimace in his pain. "Are you hurt?"

"Better you landing on me than Basch," he grumbled, running his fingers through his messy hair. "You have bad luck in the morning, Princess. Or more like you have the luck of causing me bodily harm in the morning."

It was still relatively dark, and he was surrounded by their packs and supplies. Nobody would have even known he was there. "It's your own fault for laying there."

"My fault?" he replied incredulously. "_You_ fell on _me_! And while that normally isn't something I protest, I don't like being woken with a pointy royal elbow to the sternum!"

She rolled her eyes at his complaints. "Would you keep it down? The others are still sleeping." He grumbled some more and moved from the ground to begin picking through his rucksack. "Are you always this unpleasant in the morning, Balthier?" she murmured, using the same words she'd directed at him when he'd trapped her in the Strahl's washroom.

He snorted at that and found his shaving supplies. "I'll have you know that I am perfectly pleasant under normal circumstances. Just ask Fran how chipper and friendly I can be." He pulled his rucksack closed and glared at her. "You seem to be the cause of any unpleasantness, Your Highness."

Balthier shoved the kit under his arm and stomped off to find a stream. She sighed and rose to her feet as well. He was still complaining as she followed him. "What's your plan for tomorrow morning? Planning to run me through with that sword of yours on 'accident,' hmm? Going to drop all my clothes in a pile of chocobo dung by mistake?"

They reached a small stream and he sat down cross-legged and started getting his supplies in order. She sat beside him and dipped her washcloth in the cool water. "What do you want me to say? It was dark, and I tripped." She ran the cloth over her face and was grateful for a moment to look away from his grumpy countenance.

Ashe had to admit that Balthier had a small point. As soon as the sun rose in the sky each day on their journey, it appeared that the heavens gave Balthier the curse of Ashelia. One morning just before they reached Raithwall's Tomb, she'd spilled hot tea on his arm. That ruined his "favorite" shirt. Another morning in Giza, she'd tried to warn him about a large puddle, and he'd fallen in face first in his haste to listen to her. The destruction of yet another shirt. And then he'd nearly impaled himself on a Garif mask when she knocked him into War-Chief Supinelu while trying to swat at a large fly upon their departure from Jahara. She seemed to be a bad luck charm for the sky pirate.

She cleaned her sweaty skin with the cloth while he shaved, and they maintained a firm silence. Despite all his misfortunes around her, he was still along for the journey. Though she was loath to admit it aloud, she was grateful for it. She wondered when exactly the feelings she bore him switched from irritation to budding interest. But seeing him look so unhappy and expectant of doom in her presence was enough to keep her feelings in check. He probably dreaded their every interaction since he was waiting for some form of bodily harm to befall him.

Despite his tiny mirror, a quick glance from the corner of her eye revealed that he'd missed a spot. "Balthier, there's still cream on your chin."

He rubbed at his skin. "Where?" She leaned a hand out to indicate the spot, but his fingers shot out to wrap around her wrist tightly. "Tell me with your words lest you poke my eye out, Princess."

His touch was startling, and she dropped the washcloth from her other hand right into the stream in surprise. "Balthier!" she moaned. He released her then, and she stuck her arm into the water in search of the cloth. She couldn't find it at all and sighed. How had she let something as silly as his fingers on her skin distract her so?

Balthier was already laughing at her expense. "Finally, divine retribution." He found the remaining bit of shave cream and brought his razor swiftly across it. His shave completed, the sky pirate gathered his supplies once more and rose to his feet. "What's the count now? Leading man one, Princess a thousand?"

She watched him swagger away confidently, his laughter bouncing off of the trees to mock her.

-----

Ashe spit the mouthwash out into the sink and very much enjoyed the mint flavor that had replaced the dry taste of the morning. She screwed the cap back on and replaced it in her toiletry bag and examined her face in the mirror. An offending pink bump had found its way to the very middle of her forehead, and she sighed. "I'm getting too old for these," she mumbled to herself, touching the blemish gently with her finger. Though not one to care much for her appearance, it was almost like a bullseye in the middle of her face, and even gingerly touching the skin around it hurt.

There was a gentle knock at the door. "Princess, did I leave my comb in there?" came Balthier's muffled voice through the oaken door. Compared to the facilities aboard the Strahl, the bathrooms of Reddas' manse in Balfonheim were the equivalent of the palace back in Dalmasca.

She opened the door and saw a frustrated sky pirate with unkempt hair staring back. "I don't see it. Did it fall behind the sink?" Her heartbeat began to increase at his arrival, and only the thoughts of the Pharos awaiting them later that day could distract her from his presence in the room. He gave her an apologetic look and began to look under the sink and behind the bathtub for the misplaced item. "Are you sure you came in here with it?"

Balthier was now on his hands and knees next to a linen cabinet in the corner. He stuck his hand under and felt around. "Maybe it fell under here?" he said more to himself than to her. Heaven forbid they depart for Ridorana without Balthier's hair in perfect order.

"Doesn't Basch have a comb?" she asked quietly, kneeling down beside him to observe his search.

He pulled his hand back and raised his head to scowl at her. "I don't use other people's combs, Princess."

She bit back a smile. "Of course not. How silly of me." Ashe stood shakily and tried to ignore the usual bit of butterflies that fluttered in her belly when she was alone with him. She could face down Imperials and fiends alike, but she turned into a silly twit in the sky pirate's presence. It infuriated her to no end. He kept digging around under the cabinet, and she decided that her wisest course of action was to not be alone with him before she either caused him injury or did something she'd regret. "Well, I'll leave you to your search."

Ashe grabbed her toiletry bag from the sink top and heard something clatter to the ground at her feet. It was Balthier's comb. He was on his feet in an instant. "You thief!" he cried as she set her bag back on the sink counter.

"It was an accident!" she complained. She crouched down and picked the comb up. "I must have put my bag on top of…" When she rose to her feet, comb in hand, Balthier was standing directly in front of her with a wicked glint in his eye.

He had never dared to stand so close to her, especially in light of all the accidents she'd caused him these past few months. She held the comb out and her hand was shaking. He claimed the comb and slid it into the back pocket of his trousers. He stepped forward, backing her up until she was against the sink with nowhere else to go. Balthier tapped her nose with his finger. "Thief," he declared once more.

"I just told you. It was under the bag. I didn't mean to." Why was she letting him tease her like this? Where was the descendant of the Dynast-King? Who was this girl inhabiting her skin right now?

He leaned forward, and she couldn't even breathe. How many weeks had she been envisioning something like this? She hadn't been so much as kissed in two years, and now here was that dashing and irritating sky pirate putting his hands on the sink behind her and moving to do just that. The bathroom door was wide open, and anyone could walk by at any time and see them. Basch would murder him…

Balthier's lips were just touching hers when she thought she heard a noise in the hallway and jerked a bit. Her forehead smacked loudly against his, and she bit his lip hard before he could even kiss her fully. "Ow!" he cried noisily, backing away from her and bringing a hand to his mouth in surprise. "Ashe!"

She gripped the sink top behind her and could only gape at him. "I…I thought I heard…" He pulled his finger away from his lip, and she could see the slight trickle of blood left behind. Balthier scowled at her. She watched him move to close the washroom door, and her confusion increased. "What are you…?"

He moved back to her personal space and glared at her. "Can you try not to kill me for one minute so I can kiss you properly?"

"You can't kiss me, Balthier." He raised his eyebrows in challenge, and she tightened her grip on the sink. "Or rather you…you shouldn't kiss me."

He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "But you want me to."

"I do not," she protested weakly as he let his lips brush against the side of her face.

She closed her eyes as he laughed at her, the sound of it enough to make her increasingly skittish. He gently kissed the side of her mouth. "Don't think I'm unaware of the risks involved. I may end up on the floor of this bathroom with a cracked skull any moment." His hands moved to cover hers, and his thumbs traced circles on the tops of her hands where they clutched the sink for dear life. "For someone so graceful in battle, one would never guess the Lady Ashe was so clumsy." Balthier let his lips hover just millimeters from hers, and she could feel his breath against her face with every word he spoke.

"Which is how I figured it out. Subconsciously…" he began, finally kissing her gently and stealing her breath. "Subconsciously, you know an entanglement with me is a dangerous liaison indeed and thus…"

He moved one hand up to cup her cheek and kissed her once more, but with a bit more force this time. "You injure me again and again. Letting me nick myself with my own razor." He kissed her.

"Shoving me in puddles too numerous to count at present." He kissed her yet again, and she finally let herself respond in kind. "The crumbling rock in the Stilshrine." He kept pulling back just before she was gasping for air.

"That nasty snake bite in Tchita trying to move you out of the way." Every sentence was punctuated with a brush of his lips against hers.

"I don't think I even need mention the tumble down the steps in Giruvegan."

"Balthier…" she mumbled against his lips in protest.

"What woman is worth continued injury to body and mind, I asked myself." This time he only ceased his assault when he himself lost breath. She could barely stand at this point, and she felt his arm snake around her back to pull her closer to him. "Fran thinks I'm completely mad, and I'm inclined to agree with her."

She managed to pull away and turned her head to the side to avoid the enticing taste of his lips. "Then maybe we shouldn't?" she mumbled, secretly hoping that he couldn't detect the longing in her voice. She had far more important things to worry about, surely. But it felt so perfect to have his arms around her. Nothing could ruin this moment.

"Hey Balthier!" Vaan's voice cried through the door, and Ashe's feet slid on the tiled floor in her fright to get away from Balthier before Vaan discovered them. She gripped his vest tightly to steady herself, and she heard the buckles snap apart in the back, and Balthier nearly tumbled to the ground by the force of it.

The sky pirate shook his head in irritation and pulled her hands off of him. He slid the vest off, and Ashe gasped to see the buckles had torn apart from the rest of the coarse fabric instead of unclasping like they were meant to. He looked at her in disbelief.

"Balthier, are you in there?" Vaan called again, this time accompanied by an impatient pounding fist.

She felt her face redden in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You're worth it." He examined the vest again, and when he could bear the sight of his ruined garment no longer, he looked up at her. "I think."

Ashe couldn't hide her smile. "Are you always this unpleasant in the morning, Balthier?"

"When you're around, Princess…" He leaned forward and brushed a quick kiss to her forehead. "Count on it."


End file.
